Draco Malfoy and the Deadly Biscuit
by MiniMinchin
Summary: Draco Malfoy is stuck on the Hogwarts Express with none other than the unwanted presence of Pansy Parkinson, what lengths will he go to in order to have one minutes peace? Rated T for Teeney-Weeney-Eennyy "Up Close" part. Humorous inside


_**To warn you beforehand, this is just a short one-off, to give me a break from my current chaptered story. Believe it or not, this came to me while I was laying in the bath, random I know. Enjoy and please Review afterwards. :)**_

**Draco Malfoy and the Deadly Biscuit**

The train journey was going to be a long one, as it always was. The scenery was always the same and the feeling of discomfort was always present. Pansy Parkinson was sat opposite, whining on about what she did in the ever-lasting summer holidays, why she did it and what she was planning to do when she was left alone, with a certain someone.

Draco Malfoy just sat there, staring out of the window, up at the passing clouds, wishing somehow she would shut the hell up. He rolled his eyes his gaze met that of Blaise's, sat opposite him, he too had the same, drained, uncaring expression written across his face. Neither of them wanted to hear any more. He slouched over, resting his hand in his palm, and began flicking through a potions textbook. He stopped on a few pages that took his interest... _Living Death... _Maybe that would sort out Pansy, he pondered. He slammed the book shut when he saw Professor Snape walking down the Slytherin carriage. He briefly stopped to stare at Malfoy, then carried on.

Pansy was still babbling on about her time in Alaska, and it was beginning to really get on Draco's nerves, let alone Blaise's. They both sank their heads into their hands, grinding their teeth together. It was excruciating.

"Draco, baby." She began, with her whiny voice. He simply grunted, letting her know he acknowledged her voice.

"Why are you so depressed?" She said, in a very babyish tone. When she got no answer, she got up out of her seat, clambered past Blaise, who by this point was asleep, and sat on Draco's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"What's up Drakie baby?" Her tone was getting more and more irritating to Draco, but he didn't let on. A plan had just found its way into his thick skull. He smirked to himself.

"Drakie... see I do make you smile" she stated, squeezing his neck in her arms. It was a hug that could kill anyone, she may only be 5 foot 3 but by god did she had arm strength, nearly chocking him.

"Of course" he spluttered, in a mocking tone, in which she made no note of. He was going to start his plan now, it would pass time, and amuse him.

"Pansy, meet me in the toilet in a few moments" he said, nuzzling her neck. She took in a sharp intake of breath and replied with a hushed squeal:

"Drakie..."

He got up and walked towards the Trains' toilet, locking the door behind him. He splashed water over his face, trying to get rid of the scent of her putrid perfume and the sensation left on his nose. He hated her. _Well I had better get used to this... _Draco thought as he pulled out a chocolate chip biscuit from his pocket. He unwrapped it carefully and tapped it a few times with the tip of his wand, muttering a few words under his breath. He then placed the biscuit back into the packet and re-sealed it with his wand. _She would never know._

A few moments later there was a knock at the door. Draco opened it cautiously and let the over-excited Pansy in. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood right up against him, his spine sent a warning shock through his body, he did not like this at all. _Here goes..._ He thought as he began drawing designs down her sides with his fingers, and carefully kissing and nipping at her neck. He wanted to vomit, but he knew it would be over soon... _very s_oon.

"Drakie..." she moaned, as he moved from her neck to her collar bone. He'd had enough.  
"What was that?" He said, suddenly lifting up his head and letting go of her.  
"I didn't hear anything, baby, lets carry on." Pansy replied, but he didn't intend to. Draco was buying himself time, before he turned back towards her.

"Are you pekkish?" he asked, leaning on the wall.

"A bit, why?" she asked, stroking his chest. He shut his eyes, pretending this wasn't happening.

"Got a packet of biscuits..." he mumbled, trailing off his sentence. Her eyes lit up as he bought them out of his pocket. She took them off him an immediately threw one into her mouth, offering the other to Draco, he waved his hand and rejected it.

"Munch them in here, if Blaise sees them he'll have them off you." he smiled as his walked out of the door, back towards his seat.

He sat down and looked at Blaise with a very mysterious look in his eye. He immediately guessed in his head what his blonde friend had just done and relaxed into his seat.

"At least its quiet now" he said, sliding Draco's potions book across the table." Maybe you could finish reading this..." Laughing, he shut his eyes, and relaxed, preparing to enjoy the journey ahead.

"Maybe I will..." Draco said, before putting his feet up on the table in front of him, and dozing off.

The train pulled to a halt. Draco and Blaise pulled their luggage from the overhead compartments and made their way towards the exit, briefly looking back, neither had seen Pansy for over an hour... _Shame..._ Draco thought sarcastically.

He walked off the train, a smirk etched across his pale face, towards a tall brown-haired girl, linked his arm around her, and walked towards Hogwarts. A few seconds later, there was a high pitched scream of terror. Draco simply carried on walking, grinning.

_Poor, Poor Pansy, looks like she wont be stalking me around Hogwarts any more..._


End file.
